Sacrifices.

Being sick on an every day basis is hard.. When I'm not seizing, I have a migraine. When I don't have a migraine, I'm having horrible abdominal pain (Yes, still.). But people look at you and think, "She looks fine, so she must be faking." No. I never even thought it would be capable to fake something like this.. And some days I wish I was a faker so this would all stop..

I have had to give up so many things.

I loved going to my high school. A lot of the kids there that I was with had grown up with me, and the teachers quickly became like cool friends or aunts and uncles. I thought high school was going to suck, but no.. It was quite awesome. I only made it to October of my freshman year before I started getting sick. They had to pull me out of my school and learn by myself at home. It was miserable. My teachers came to my house on weeknights and weekends to attempt to catch me up by the end of the year, and I pretty much lost hope of being able to hang out with my friends any time soon. My dad even got me a new phone because he knew social contact would be so limited and my other one was hanging on by a thread. It was horrible. I remember reading texts from my friends telling me about their days and what kind of juvenile drama was currently circulating, and I would just cry. I wasn't able to be there with my friends when they needed me or when I needed them. I had even less hope of getting a boyfriend. I was super duper depressed. I have bounced around to a small homeschooled type environment, then back to being by myself, and now I go to a small private school that I love... But I still don't get go see my friends at all. The last time I saw my best friend was sometime in August.. And my other best friend I haven't seen in almost a month. It is hard, but no matter what, they are still there.

I have had to give up sports and pretty much a lot of physical activity. I used to love playing indoor soccer... I had me some THIGHS OF STEEL. I was tough, and speedy, and I just loved being involved. Now I'm not even allowed to jog laps in gym class. I'm not supposed to do what the other kids are doing... I'm on "restricted physical activity under supervision." That pretty much means I can do stretches by myself while by my gym teacher because they're afraid I'm going to pass out and seize on them.

The worst of the worst, I had to give up Ramen noodles. D:
We went to a nutritionist to see if he could give us any insight to what was going on. He decided that gluten (pretty much wheat products) was inflaming my stomach and intestines and it wasn't helping me feel better. I have been on a gluten free diet for nearly a year, and it is pure torture. Sure, I cheat now and then... Some times more than others. But still. I was the girl that came home every day and ate Ramen while watching Harry Potter. Every day!! Now I have to eat a rice and corn blend for pasta, and even though it really doesn't suck, it isn't Ramen. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest when he told me. No more McNuggets (disgusting but oh so yummy) or SUBWAY!? I thought the world was going to end. And you better believe that when I get off of this diet I am heading to Subway first thing.

So yeah. I have had to give a lot of things since this has all been happening.. But slowly it seems I am getting my life back. I have an amazing group of friends at my new school, an even more amazing boyfriend, a whole youth group who backs me up and inspires me on the daily, and the best family a girl could ask for. God has been good through this, that's for sure. He could have made things a lot worse... But he kept me alive and that's more than enough.

So hey, next time you have to give up something big, trust me... Sticking to the negative side of things just makes it suck even more. Instead, I sit here and look for loopholes in the plans!! ;D

It will get better. I promise.