Sorry I haven't really been keeping up... Even though no one really reads this anyways... I haven't had a lot on my mind lately. This Thanksgiving break was just filled with family drama and love and laughter and I am just...well... Happy!! I haven't felt this happy in a long time. Plus me' and the boyfriend are going through a new type of experience together which is exciting... And yeah. We are just happy together as well. I haven't been sick in a few weeks, and I have started eating gluten again with no problems. Things seem to be going up.. And my teenage years seem to be getting a little brighter. (:
Happy is a wonderful feeling... Let's hope it stays.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Gilda. :3
There is one thing I know I would NOT be okay without. She is about a foot and a half tall, 70 pounds, and wrinkly. She is an English bulldog, and her name is Gilda.
We got Gilda about 2 years ago from some friends of my moms who breed bulldogs. Gilda was only a year and a half years old, but she had already been bounced around to a few homes and they couldn't find somewhere that would keep her for good. Well, they knew that my family has always wanted a bulldog, and so they decided to call us up and see if we would take her in. Of course we said yes.
Since then Gilda has become a HUGE part of my life. She is like my little nurse. On days when I don't feel good and have to stay home she follows me' around and sleeps with me. She is golden. <3 Every time I wake up from a seizure I ask for her.
Point: Everyone needs a Gilda.
We got Gilda about 2 years ago from some friends of my moms who breed bulldogs. Gilda was only a year and a half years old, but she had already been bounced around to a few homes and they couldn't find somewhere that would keep her for good. Well, they knew that my family has always wanted a bulldog, and so they decided to call us up and see if we would take her in. Of course we said yes.
Since then Gilda has become a HUGE part of my life. She is like my little nurse. On days when I don't feel good and have to stay home she follows me' around and sleeps with me. She is golden. <3 Every time I wake up from a seizure I ask for her.
Point: Everyone needs a Gilda.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Do You NOT Hate It When...
1. Something bad is happening to someone you love very much, but you can't do anything for them.. Yeah. My boyfriend is nothing but amazing to me' and makes me smile like no other. But when he needs me, and when I'm supposed to be strong, I'm not. I get sick. I turn bratty. I just turn into what he needs the least in his life at the time. I love him so much, but I don't know how he loves me' after everything I have put him through.
2. The Chinese food you were expecting didn't taste as good as you wanted it to. Gah. I just wanted some crab rangoon... I wasn't expecting there to be REAL crab... It's freaking cheap Chinese food... Who uses real crab in fake Chinese food?!
3. You get your carpets clean and now the bottoms of your pajama pants are wet and you're laying in bed feeling sick and angry and now your ankles are cold due to wet pant bottoms. I swear. All it does it make my sheets wet and blah blah blah. It's annoying as heck. I just want it to dry.
4. You have that panicky feeling because you think you lost something uber important. Yeah, the Stanley Steemer guys came today and I thought my cat was going to be freaking out so I went to get her and hide her some place where she would be a tad less scared. They came at 6:00. We just found her 10 minutes ago. It is currently 10:40pm.
5. You get all comfortable in your bed and then you remember you have to do something? I forgot to turn off the Christmas lights hanging around my room. Yeah, it makes me feel magical. But it also annoys the crap out of me. No one likes a bunch of fairies pooping on their face when they're sleeping.
6. Nothing makes any sense. Need I say more?
Blah. I'm tired of today. Time to sleep and wake up to a hopefully better tomorrow... Where instead of having a don't you hate it list I will have a don't you love it with.
3MOREDAYSTILMAMMY!
2. The Chinese food you were expecting didn't taste as good as you wanted it to. Gah. I just wanted some crab rangoon... I wasn't expecting there to be REAL crab... It's freaking cheap Chinese food... Who uses real crab in fake Chinese food?!
3. You get your carpets clean and now the bottoms of your pajama pants are wet and you're laying in bed feeling sick and angry and now your ankles are cold due to wet pant bottoms. I swear. All it does it make my sheets wet and blah blah blah. It's annoying as heck. I just want it to dry.
4. You have that panicky feeling because you think you lost something uber important. Yeah, the Stanley Steemer guys came today and I thought my cat was going to be freaking out so I went to get her and hide her some place where she would be a tad less scared. They came at 6:00. We just found her 10 minutes ago. It is currently 10:40pm.
5. You get all comfortable in your bed and then you remember you have to do something? I forgot to turn off the Christmas lights hanging around my room. Yeah, it makes me feel magical. But it also annoys the crap out of me. No one likes a bunch of fairies pooping on their face when they're sleeping.
6. Nothing makes any sense. Need I say more?
Blah. I'm tired of today. Time to sleep and wake up to a hopefully better tomorrow... Where instead of having a don't you hate it list I will have a don't you love it with.
3MOREDAYSTILMAMMY!
Walmart...
One of the most awkward places to ever have a seizure is freakin WALMART. Yeah. So far I have only ha two there, but it doesn't make it any less awkward or embarrassing when I wake up.. Definitely not.
The first time I was like really tired and my heart rate was up and so I passed out and started seizing in the check out aisle. I woke up and somehow I had pillows around me and people were praying at me?! I was like PEOPLE, I'M OKAY. It was sooo awkward.
Then the other night it wasn't as bad but I woke up and there were a few Walmart employees standing around asking us if we needed anything... So of course I say, "Gilda!" (my english bulldog) and they all go, "..."
It was awkward.
The first time I was like really tired and my heart rate was up and so I passed out and started seizing in the check out aisle. I woke up and somehow I had pillows around me and people were praying at me?! I was like PEOPLE, I'M OKAY. It was sooo awkward.
Then the other night it wasn't as bad but I woke up and there were a few Walmart employees standing around asking us if we needed anything... So of course I say, "Gilda!" (my english bulldog) and they all go, "..."
It was awkward.
D:<
I am definitely not supposed to be awake right now. This was the day that I was suppose to go all day and now i can tell I am going to have to go in late. That is so dumb.
My dumb body clock needs new batteries. Every morning at like 5 it wakes me up, and normally I can go back to sleep but today IT WON'T LET ME. I don't understand!! Is it because I sleep with no pants on?! I refuse!!!!! PANTLESS SLEEP, FTW.
My dumb body clock needs new batteries. Every morning at like 5 it wakes me up, and normally I can go back to sleep but today IT WON'T LET ME. I don't understand!! Is it because I sleep with no pants on?! I refuse!!!!! PANTLESS SLEEP, FTW.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Well, crap.
GAH. I. Hate. Gardasil. So, this is the deal. I miss TONS of school. Like tons. I missed today, for instance, because I ended up passing out and seizing at Walmart last night and it totally killed my back. I can barely walk without crying it hurts so bad. ANNNYWAYS. When I started getting sick I was taking Algebra 1 (like most freshies do). Of course, after that, I had the worst time retaining knowledge... Apparently that isn't an uncommon thing for Gardasil Girls, but still. I ended up forgetting everything I had learned, and having to retake Algebra 1 in my Sophomore year. Basically, I am a year behind in math. Gag! I have no idea what is going on... Geometry is the DEVIL. I ended up having to do 11 make up assignments today... Which was like 12 pieces of paper... Goodness sakes I couldn't even walk afterwards, let alone think. So please, kids, stay at school and keep up with your math homework. You could end up like this girl. You don't want that life!! Haha.
Can anyone tell I'm on vicoden again?!
Can anyone tell I'm on vicoden again?!
Denial.
One of the things you don't want to be when you're sick: IN DENIAL.
At first that's all I was. I was thinking, "No, I'm not sick. This isn't happening to me. Not at all." But that just makes things worse. When you're in denial you can't take any steps towards making yourself better.. All you can do is sit there in your frustration. After I cane to terms that this WAS happening to me, I had to deal with the fact that it was going to keep happening for a while... I fact the last time I was in the hospital with wires taped to my head, they said this could be a lifelong thing. Well anyways, after that I figured I might as well suck it up, take it like Betty White (because she is one awesome woman) and KNOCK the heck out of this sickness.
After that things started looking up. Even though I'm still not great at it, I started listening to my body a little better.. And even though I am still sick, I'm not giving up hope that I will get better,
Lifelong condition, you say? I say FALSE.
In the words of Tate," You= Rocky Balboa. Sickness= WUSSY."
At first that's all I was. I was thinking, "No, I'm not sick. This isn't happening to me. Not at all." But that just makes things worse. When you're in denial you can't take any steps towards making yourself better.. All you can do is sit there in your frustration. After I cane to terms that this WAS happening to me, I had to deal with the fact that it was going to keep happening for a while... I fact the last time I was in the hospital with wires taped to my head, they said this could be a lifelong thing. Well anyways, after that I figured I might as well suck it up, take it like Betty White (because she is one awesome woman) and KNOCK the heck out of this sickness.
After that things started looking up. Even though I'm still not great at it, I started listening to my body a little better.. And even though I am still sick, I'm not giving up hope that I will get better,
Lifelong condition, you say? I say FALSE.
In the words of Tate," You= Rocky Balboa. Sickness= WUSSY."
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Grapes, Brownies, and Beards. <3
Every sick person needs their support system. Fortunately, I have the best support system ever. I have lots of friends and family who have helped drag me through this, and even move me when I think I can't move anymore. But there are a few special people...
Over the summer I was finally able to meet some of my Gardasil girls. Some of the girls of Indiana were able to meet in Indianapolis. We were totally blown away at how fast everyone became like family. At first things were awkward. Then someone said the magic words of, "I'm hungry." and just like that... We ended up sneaking off with a huge bowl of fruit and a plate of gluten free brownies (GLUTEN FREE!) to the kitchen of the church that was hosting this event for us. At first things were a little quiet and awkward, but then everyone was laughing and talking and comparing.. And THAT was the first time in my whole journey so far that I finally knew I wasn't in this by myself. I had girls who went through what I went through day after day to my left and to my right, and already they felt like sisters to me. I was so crazy happy about meeting these girls, it was CRAZY. We all exchanged numbers of course, and I talk to a few of them every single day. Occasionally I will see one of them, but with them being so far away it is just hard.. But no matter what we all have eachothers back. No one is a faker here. No one is a freak, different, or frowned upon in this group. We are now like a family.. A family that I wouldn't trade in for all the money in the world. I love you, my beautifuls. <3
Now everyone knows that girls are tough and can get things done on their own. We don't need guys!! But they are fun to have around so what the hey. ;) One of the biggest supporters and helpers to me is Mr. Boyfriend, Scott. This kid is crazy. When I was in the E.R. last week (for the stomach that is STILL bothering me) he was wiping off the barf from my chin and holding my hair back. He even got in the hospital bed with me and snuggled until I was able to fall asleep!! That isn't the only time he is like that. This boy gives me so much motivation... He makes me laugh and smile when no one else can. He is my little goof, and I plan on keeping him that way. Most guys can't handle sick girls... They panic and run off leaving us feeling worse. But Scott just stands by my side no matter what. That's the greatest kind of guy a girl like me could want. <3
All of these people make waking up and saying, "I will survive today." a whole lot easier.
I love you. <333
(You know who you are. ;D)
Over the summer I was finally able to meet some of my Gardasil girls. Some of the girls of Indiana were able to meet in Indianapolis. We were totally blown away at how fast everyone became like family. At first things were awkward. Then someone said the magic words of, "I'm hungry." and just like that... We ended up sneaking off with a huge bowl of fruit and a plate of gluten free brownies (GLUTEN FREE!) to the kitchen of the church that was hosting this event for us. At first things were a little quiet and awkward, but then everyone was laughing and talking and comparing.. And THAT was the first time in my whole journey so far that I finally knew I wasn't in this by myself. I had girls who went through what I went through day after day to my left and to my right, and already they felt like sisters to me. I was so crazy happy about meeting these girls, it was CRAZY. We all exchanged numbers of course, and I talk to a few of them every single day. Occasionally I will see one of them, but with them being so far away it is just hard.. But no matter what we all have eachothers back. No one is a faker here. No one is a freak, different, or frowned upon in this group. We are now like a family.. A family that I wouldn't trade in for all the money in the world. I love you, my beautifuls. <3
Now everyone knows that girls are tough and can get things done on their own. We don't need guys!! But they are fun to have around so what the hey. ;) One of the biggest supporters and helpers to me is Mr. Boyfriend, Scott. This kid is crazy. When I was in the E.R. last week (for the stomach that is STILL bothering me) he was wiping off the barf from my chin and holding my hair back. He even got in the hospital bed with me and snuggled until I was able to fall asleep!! That isn't the only time he is like that. This boy gives me so much motivation... He makes me laugh and smile when no one else can. He is my little goof, and I plan on keeping him that way. Most guys can't handle sick girls... They panic and run off leaving us feeling worse. But Scott just stands by my side no matter what. That's the greatest kind of guy a girl like me could want. <3
All of these people make waking up and saying, "I will survive today." a whole lot easier.
I love you. <333
(You know who you are. ;D)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sacrifices.
Being sick on an every day basis is hard.. When I'm not seizing, I have a migraine. When I don't have a migraine, I'm having horrible abdominal pain (Yes, still.). But people look at you and think, "She looks fine, so she must be faking." No. I never even thought it would be capable to fake something like this.. And some days I wish I was a faker so this would all stop..
I have had to give up so many things.
I loved going to my high school. A lot of the kids there that I was with had grown up with me, and the teachers quickly became like cool friends or aunts and uncles. I thought high school was going to suck, but no.. It was quite awesome. I only made it to October of my freshman year before I started getting sick. They had to pull me out of my school and learn by myself at home. It was miserable. My teachers came to my house on weeknights and weekends to attempt to catch me up by the end of the year, and I pretty much lost hope of being able to hang out with my friends any time soon. My dad even got me a new phone because he knew social contact would be so limited and my other one was hanging on by a thread. It was horrible. I remember reading texts from my friends telling me about their days and what kind of juvenile drama was currently circulating, and I would just cry. I wasn't able to be there with my friends when they needed me or when I needed them. I had even less hope of getting a boyfriend. I was super duper depressed. I have bounced around to a small homeschooled type environment, then back to being by myself, and now I go to a small private school that I love... But I still don't get go see my friends at all. The last time I saw my best friend was sometime in August.. And my other best friend I haven't seen in almost a month. It is hard, but no matter what, they are still there.
I have had to give up sports and pretty much a lot of physical activity. I used to love playing indoor soccer... I had me some THIGHS OF STEEL. I was tough, and speedy, and I just loved being involved. Now I'm not even allowed to jog laps in gym class. I'm not supposed to do what the other kids are doing... I'm on "restricted physical activity under supervision." That pretty much means I can do stretches by myself while by my gym teacher because they're afraid I'm going to pass out and seize on them.
The worst of the worst, I had to give up Ramen noodles. D:
We went to a nutritionist to see if he could give us any insight to what was going on. He decided that gluten (pretty much wheat products) was inflaming my stomach and intestines and it wasn't helping me feel better. I have been on a gluten free diet for nearly a year, and it is pure torture. Sure, I cheat now and then... Some times more than others. But still. I was the girl that came home every day and ate Ramen while watching Harry Potter. Every day!! Now I have to eat a rice and corn blend for pasta, and even though it really doesn't suck, it isn't Ramen. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest when he told me. No more McNuggets (disgusting but oh so yummy) or SUBWAY!? I thought the world was going to end. And you better believe that when I get off of this diet I am heading to Subway first thing.
So yeah. I have had to give a lot of things since this has all been happening.. But slowly it seems I am getting my life back. I have an amazing group of friends at my new school, an even more amazing boyfriend, a whole youth group who backs me up and inspires me on the daily, and the best family a girl could ask for. God has been good through this, that's for sure. He could have made things a lot worse... But he kept me alive and that's more than enough.
So hey, next time you have to give up something big, trust me... Sticking to the negative side of things just makes it suck even more. Instead, I sit here and look for loopholes in the plans!! ;D
It will get better. I promise.
I have had to give up so many things.
I loved going to my high school. A lot of the kids there that I was with had grown up with me, and the teachers quickly became like cool friends or aunts and uncles. I thought high school was going to suck, but no.. It was quite awesome. I only made it to October of my freshman year before I started getting sick. They had to pull me out of my school and learn by myself at home. It was miserable. My teachers came to my house on weeknights and weekends to attempt to catch me up by the end of the year, and I pretty much lost hope of being able to hang out with my friends any time soon. My dad even got me a new phone because he knew social contact would be so limited and my other one was hanging on by a thread. It was horrible. I remember reading texts from my friends telling me about their days and what kind of juvenile drama was currently circulating, and I would just cry. I wasn't able to be there with my friends when they needed me or when I needed them. I had even less hope of getting a boyfriend. I was super duper depressed. I have bounced around to a small homeschooled type environment, then back to being by myself, and now I go to a small private school that I love... But I still don't get go see my friends at all. The last time I saw my best friend was sometime in August.. And my other best friend I haven't seen in almost a month. It is hard, but no matter what, they are still there.
I have had to give up sports and pretty much a lot of physical activity. I used to love playing indoor soccer... I had me some THIGHS OF STEEL. I was tough, and speedy, and I just loved being involved. Now I'm not even allowed to jog laps in gym class. I'm not supposed to do what the other kids are doing... I'm on "restricted physical activity under supervision." That pretty much means I can do stretches by myself while by my gym teacher because they're afraid I'm going to pass out and seize on them.
The worst of the worst, I had to give up Ramen noodles. D:
We went to a nutritionist to see if he could give us any insight to what was going on. He decided that gluten (pretty much wheat products) was inflaming my stomach and intestines and it wasn't helping me feel better. I have been on a gluten free diet for nearly a year, and it is pure torture. Sure, I cheat now and then... Some times more than others. But still. I was the girl that came home every day and ate Ramen while watching Harry Potter. Every day!! Now I have to eat a rice and corn blend for pasta, and even though it really doesn't suck, it isn't Ramen. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest when he told me. No more McNuggets (disgusting but oh so yummy) or SUBWAY!? I thought the world was going to end. And you better believe that when I get off of this diet I am heading to Subway first thing.
So yeah. I have had to give a lot of things since this has all been happening.. But slowly it seems I am getting my life back. I have an amazing group of friends at my new school, an even more amazing boyfriend, a whole youth group who backs me up and inspires me on the daily, and the best family a girl could ask for. God has been good through this, that's for sure. He could have made things a lot worse... But he kept me alive and that's more than enough.
So hey, next time you have to give up something big, trust me... Sticking to the negative side of things just makes it suck even more. Instead, I sit here and look for loopholes in the plans!! ;D
It will get better. I promise.
*Sigh*
Today is one of those days where I just feel like completely giving up. My body just aches... And that alien baby is still alive an kicking it's way out of my stomach like a two year old throwing a tantrum. Gah. It hurts so bad. I have these days sometimes... And this is the worst I've had in a while. Thank you, Gardasil. What would I do without some sort of medical complication every single FREAKING day. You are so generous. Too generous. Wurd. You are the Lord Voldemort of all vaccines... You have the Cruciatus curse going hardcore, and the Imperius curse too. You control my every day life. I hate you. Where is my Harry? Or Ron? Or Hermione?! Take it away!! I am losing sleep over this. I can't think straight. I can't even walk straight. Congratulations, punk. You ruined my day.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Up...
I don't really care if two posts in one night is bad. So, hah.
Here I am. It is 1:01 in the morning, and I can't sleep. Why? It feels like some sort of creature is going to come ripping itself out of my intestines at any given moment. As cool as that sounds, and as bad as I actually want to see that...I want it to stop hurting. Lets just play "THINGS ON CALEIGH'S MIND." Oh boy.
- I never thank God enough for the creation of memory foam. My butt is just where it wants to be. Yesssss.
-Napoleon Dynamite is quite possibly the stupidest, but MOST AMAZING movie I have ever seen in my life.
-My new favorite word is 'masticating.' It is a boundary pusher, and it means chewing. So you can walk around places while you're eating and go, "Hey guys, I'm masticating."
-I can't pogo stick without taping my boobs down. I don't want to get whacked in the chin.
- I might actually be the only girl who likes her man with a beard. I love him regardless, but I miss the way it tickles when I get kisses. :( R.I.P. beard, you were amazing.
-I have walked up a lot of stairs in my life.
-Vicoden makes me feel funny. I'm not sure if it is in the good way or the bad way, though.
-I hate wearing pants. They're so restricting. No, I'm not a whore. That is not why I said I hate wearing pants. I hate them because I get really overheated easily, and I am just more comfortable when I'm lettin my legs air out like they wana.
-^I sounded like an unsanitary boob in that last one.
-Meeting relatives of your significant others is a really hard task, unless you are Scott. Then you are fine.
-Being socially awkward is something I hope I never grow out of.
- Emoticons with dashes for noses bug the ever living crap out of me. It makes me want to poop mice. D-:<
-^i pissed myself off with that face. Gold star, Caleigh. Gold. Flippin. Star.
-I just remembered that cows used to be my favorite animal. Now, I'm pro-narwhal. YEEEEAH.
-I'm not sure my mom knows I took her laptop. Whoops. <3
-You have probably stopped reading by now. Hehehe.
I think that game should now end. Yeah.
IT STILL HURTS. D-:<
...I HATE MYSELF. ^
:) just kidding.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLVICODEN.
The Beginning...
Hello. :)
My name is Caleigh. I'm 17 years old, and I am very sick.
Two years ago, I was a perfectly normal (physically;D) girl. I was in my freshman year of high school, a clarinet in the marching band, an active person in my youth group, blah blah blah. Point, I was fine.
Then I got the shot...
The Gardasil vaccine is supposed to prevent against HPV. They say it is BETTER for us to get the shot. Well, we did just because we wanted to cover all the bases (medically speaking) for a 15 year old girl who was just starting to get comfortable with her newly formed body. We got the same talk doctors give before you get any type of vaccination... It goes something like this, "Your arm might hurt for a few days after the shot. You might get a little dizzy, a headache even, but nothing too extreme. It is safe." We got the first shot out of the series of 3.
About a month later, my life pretty much flipped. I remember the first time something wasn't right. I was in band class talking to my friend about a guy I liked at the time, when I just passed out. Just like that, plop. I'm down. I remember waking up and gasping for air... And I had that horrible feeling when you can't feel your legs. I was full blown panicking. Well of course everyone freaks out and screams for other people to go get the nurse. My band teacher (bless his heart) stayed by my side as well as my best friend (bless her heart too) until the nurse arrived (bless her heart even more). She had my dad on the phone and was trying to get me to talk so my breathing would calm down. She loaded me into a wheelchair and had me sing nursery rhymes into a paper bag until I was calm and breathing normally. M daddy came and picked me up from school and took me home. I don't remember what happened the rest of that day, but I remember it didn't stop there.
I kept having these "episodes" where I would pass out and hyperventilate and all that good stuff... And we couldn't figure out why. I had been to the emergency room a few times, had gotten blood taken, gotten poked and prodded and stethoscoped. Every time, though, they couldn't find an answer. All they would say was for me to stay home from school the next day and rest. That is what I did.
After a particularly hard night (being rushed to the E.R. for not breathing right...AGAIN.) I expected to have a nice and relaxing day at home. I was hoping not to get sick. My dad stayed home with me, because obviously someone needed to be watching me just in case. Well, my Pappy had stopped over to talk to my dad about computers. My aunt came over too, and it was just this little awkward party. I started not feeling good and immediately laid down and told my dad to bring me a paper bag just in case my breathing hyped up again. I didn't start hyperventilating though. I started seizing.
I remember my aunt saying, "Paul, she's having a seizure. We need to time this." And then it felt like 30 seconds later, but she said, "Okay it has been 8 minutes. We need to take her to the hospital." I don't remember much after this. I remember getting there and them sticking those oxygen tubes up my nose... There were a lot of people standing around me that I didn't know. My family was corralled and squished into the corner, out of the way. I remember one lady saying, "Sweetie, I'm going to give you this medicine to stop your seizure." Then my mom came in the room, and I blacked out. I seized for another 5 hours, totally drugged out.
I was pretty much in and out of consciousness for the next few days.I remember a few bits and pieces... I remember them loading me in an ambulance to transfer me from one hospital to another. I remember waking up for like 30 seconds in the ambulance and hearing them talking about all of their relationship problems. I remember a guy with dreadlocks gluing wires to my head. I remember sitting up to use the bedpan and barfing on people. I remember a light panel above my bed that had butterflies on it, my youth pastor commenting on said light, and his wife smacking him because apparently "that isn't what you say to people who are in the hospital." I don't remember any more until I woke up for good.
I was in the hospital for 5 days before they let me go home. After that we had to deal with these seizures on our own.
My pastor's daughter coincidentally started having the same type of seizures 2 years before me, but I didn't know much about that. I just knew she was sick. Her dad came to the hospital when I was asleep and talked to my mom, and asked her if I had gotten the Gardasil vaccine. She said yes, I had. He then said that he and his wife believe that is the cause of their daughter's sickness, and that we should really research to see if that might be the cause of what was happening to me.
My mom hasn't stopped researching for 2 years, and we firmly believe that I am sick because of an adverse reaction to the Gardasil vaccine.
My goal with this blog isn't to complain to everyone about this. I have had my time to complain, and for a while, now, I have just had to learn to deal with it. I live my life to the fullest. I now have a restricted diet, I have to go to a small private school, I am restricted to a limited amount of exercise, and I now have to have a lot more sleep just to handle a few hours of the day. And yes, I still have seizures. I have only been seizure free for around 2 weeks.
My goal with this blog is to give my voice to others who may have suffered from the Gardasil vaccine, or another vaccine related injury. This is my way of giving a stand. I can talk a lot, yes. But I am always fumbling over words, and I feel that I speak with more power through writing. So, here I am, speaking my words. Just one sick girl with a laptop. Yeah, cool story bro. :)
My name is Caleigh. I'm 17 years old, and I am very sick.
Two years ago, I was a perfectly normal (physically;D) girl. I was in my freshman year of high school, a clarinet in the marching band, an active person in my youth group, blah blah blah. Point, I was fine.
Then I got the shot...
The Gardasil vaccine is supposed to prevent against HPV. They say it is BETTER for us to get the shot. Well, we did just because we wanted to cover all the bases (medically speaking) for a 15 year old girl who was just starting to get comfortable with her newly formed body. We got the same talk doctors give before you get any type of vaccination... It goes something like this, "Your arm might hurt for a few days after the shot. You might get a little dizzy, a headache even, but nothing too extreme. It is safe." We got the first shot out of the series of 3.
About a month later, my life pretty much flipped. I remember the first time something wasn't right. I was in band class talking to my friend about a guy I liked at the time, when I just passed out. Just like that, plop. I'm down. I remember waking up and gasping for air... And I had that horrible feeling when you can't feel your legs. I was full blown panicking. Well of course everyone freaks out and screams for other people to go get the nurse. My band teacher (bless his heart) stayed by my side as well as my best friend (bless her heart too) until the nurse arrived (bless her heart even more). She had my dad on the phone and was trying to get me to talk so my breathing would calm down. She loaded me into a wheelchair and had me sing nursery rhymes into a paper bag until I was calm and breathing normally. M daddy came and picked me up from school and took me home. I don't remember what happened the rest of that day, but I remember it didn't stop there.
I kept having these "episodes" where I would pass out and hyperventilate and all that good stuff... And we couldn't figure out why. I had been to the emergency room a few times, had gotten blood taken, gotten poked and prodded and stethoscoped. Every time, though, they couldn't find an answer. All they would say was for me to stay home from school the next day and rest. That is what I did.
After a particularly hard night (being rushed to the E.R. for not breathing right...AGAIN.) I expected to have a nice and relaxing day at home. I was hoping not to get sick. My dad stayed home with me, because obviously someone needed to be watching me just in case. Well, my Pappy had stopped over to talk to my dad about computers. My aunt came over too, and it was just this little awkward party. I started not feeling good and immediately laid down and told my dad to bring me a paper bag just in case my breathing hyped up again. I didn't start hyperventilating though. I started seizing.
I remember my aunt saying, "Paul, she's having a seizure. We need to time this." And then it felt like 30 seconds later, but she said, "Okay it has been 8 minutes. We need to take her to the hospital." I don't remember much after this. I remember getting there and them sticking those oxygen tubes up my nose... There were a lot of people standing around me that I didn't know. My family was corralled and squished into the corner, out of the way. I remember one lady saying, "Sweetie, I'm going to give you this medicine to stop your seizure." Then my mom came in the room, and I blacked out. I seized for another 5 hours, totally drugged out.
I was pretty much in and out of consciousness for the next few days.I remember a few bits and pieces... I remember them loading me in an ambulance to transfer me from one hospital to another. I remember waking up for like 30 seconds in the ambulance and hearing them talking about all of their relationship problems. I remember a guy with dreadlocks gluing wires to my head. I remember sitting up to use the bedpan and barfing on people. I remember a light panel above my bed that had butterflies on it, my youth pastor commenting on said light, and his wife smacking him because apparently "that isn't what you say to people who are in the hospital." I don't remember any more until I woke up for good.
I was in the hospital for 5 days before they let me go home. After that we had to deal with these seizures on our own.
My pastor's daughter coincidentally started having the same type of seizures 2 years before me, but I didn't know much about that. I just knew she was sick. Her dad came to the hospital when I was asleep and talked to my mom, and asked her if I had gotten the Gardasil vaccine. She said yes, I had. He then said that he and his wife believe that is the cause of their daughter's sickness, and that we should really research to see if that might be the cause of what was happening to me.
My mom hasn't stopped researching for 2 years, and we firmly believe that I am sick because of an adverse reaction to the Gardasil vaccine.
My goal with this blog isn't to complain to everyone about this. I have had my time to complain, and for a while, now, I have just had to learn to deal with it. I live my life to the fullest. I now have a restricted diet, I have to go to a small private school, I am restricted to a limited amount of exercise, and I now have to have a lot more sleep just to handle a few hours of the day. And yes, I still have seizures. I have only been seizure free for around 2 weeks.
My goal with this blog is to give my voice to others who may have suffered from the Gardasil vaccine, or another vaccine related injury. This is my way of giving a stand. I can talk a lot, yes. But I am always fumbling over words, and I feel that I speak with more power through writing. So, here I am, speaking my words. Just one sick girl with a laptop. Yeah, cool story bro. :)
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